Couples who come to counselling are brave souls. Bringing their pain and distress to another, displays to me their courage and humility to face each other and themselves. As each couple is as unique as the individuals who have paired, how I approach their particular difficulties will be different. I always touch on their emotional dance, how they respond to each other and make explicit the pattern that has evolved between them. With deeper understanding of how this pattern has developed, possibilities open up to respond in different ways that are more conducive to the underlying yearnings of connection being called for. For some, noticing communication styles that have a destructive force makes a great difference in the tone of their relationship. The individuals love language is another way in which couples bring greater awareness to where they are ‘missing’ each other. Working in many eclectic ways on various levels in the relationship broadens the capacity of the couple to move in ways which are freeing and loving at the same time.