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In a 75 yr Harvard Study found that good relationships keep us happier and healthier and its the quality of your close relationships that matters. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Happily partnered men and women, in their 80’s, report that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.

Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80’s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people’s memories stay sharper longer. Whereas the people in relationships where they feel they really can’t count on the other one,those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. Those good relationships, don’t have to be smooth all the time. Some octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough,those arguments didn’t take a toll on their memories.

We learn how to make a living, play sport and do craft but we learn little on how to create satisfying and fulfilling relationships………………………

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